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Chapter 16 - Money, God and Sex


How it feels like to have our precious hearts broken, living in the darkness like sweet grapes lost its identity got crushed into a barrel, not knowing days or nights, or how many years had passed… but unknowingly turned into some fine wine bring to the Table of Life, silently serve life once more and merged into a different awareness?

life goes on…

How it feels to have overloaded information, thoughts forms, ethic conflicts… our old personality overwhelmed with new data, like computer crashed, we experience panic attacks or even mental breakdown…living in the darkness of our mental cellar, moaning for the lost innocence…not knowing days or nights, or how many years had passed..  While the old person died and the new person reborn with the coming Spring?

Life has opened our eyes, we can truly see whatever is in front of us, fully present live with it without fear… what more can we loss? What else left for us to protect? Life goes on…

How it feels like to be an innocent oyster experiencing the flow of tides and endless ideals, unexpectedly all has been taken away by the sudden invasion of the sands… the old reality came to an end, not knowing days or nights, or how many years had passed by… until those tears and sands turned into pearls of wisdom?

Irritation, suffering and bliss are like different phases of the moon… life still goes on…

Oh, yes! Some grapes did not turned into fine wine, but bitter and sour and having identity crisis… some mental case did not breakthrough but breakdown… some oyster got eaten before the realizing of the first pearl… life still goes on… Life shall not stop living regardless we breakthrough or breakdown; life shall never end regardless we bless life or curse life… Sometimes our precious heart got shattered, broken and disillusioned for a long time until one day we become aware everything in life as something precious once was heart of mine… Other times we thought we might have a mental breakdown but coming out the other end with profound understanding. We do not attain compassion through reading many libraries of books, we attain compassion through life experiences of our own living truth. Through our personal living truth we become one with life situations and grow beyond our confined boxes… Compassion is profound understanding from the depth of our souls and hearts. It is a mark of an old soul who has seen so much and understood so deeply. A young tree might idealize love and light; an old tree has lived through love and light and stormy dark nights… hence comes the depth and unconditional love.

I did not know we were poor when I was small. Little Gold and Little Firewood might be too small to remember this. I did remember when some typhoon wiped out many houses and flood were everywhere. We lived in a humble Japanese style of half wooden, half cement house with one room that had cement floor and the other room was a bit higher with Japanese house tatami.. When the flood came, mom would pack up our belongings from the lower room to the the higher room.. if the flood came up to the higher room we then climbed to the roof. I remember seeing salvation army members with boats came to each roof bring us packages of U. S. Navy survival food. Those pieces of hard cookies, cans of meats, chocolates… all tasted marvelous to me. What an event!!! I had such an unbelievable time having picnic on the roof, eating foreign food, soaking wet with winds and rains… when the flood retreated, We often had snakes left in the houses… kids were holding those water snakes playing with other kids. Adults were busily fixing their house and helping one another to rebuild  together.

When mom cook something special, it was never just cooked for our small family but cooked enough to feed many neighbors. We were taught to deliver each plate of special food to different neighbors saying something like – mom said this is not a big dish but something small from our heart to share with you… Mom was not the only one doing that either, the women in those days took turns to surprise their neighbors. They could make a table of feast out of almost nothing except some eggs, noodle… seaweeds, flours and salt. We had lots of fruit trees. When it was time to harvest, none of us thought of making money from our neighbors. We would go to neighbors asking them to bring some bags and baskets to help us eat them or the fruits would get spoiled. They share their fruits in their gardens with us too. Now looking back, that was abundant in all levels. Everyone’s heart was filled with appreciation, gratitude and sincere concerns for the neighbors.

The ballet barre mom and dad set for me did not match with wooden floor but cement floor with uneven surface… later in life when I got scholarship to the U. S, I was so surprised about dancers complaining the beautiful floor was not good enough that made some people injured themselves. I was not taught to blame the floor if I got injured. I was taught if I got injured it was because I was either not present enough or not practiced enough. In the U. S we have plenty food, good living standard but most people feel so much lack and had to keep financial stress as privacy. Money was such a big thing that we spend so much of our time making it but often do not make enough to go around. People were so stressed to make more money there is no time for self education, research, soul journey and to keep an eye on what the governments are doing with our tax money… people have to work even harder to pay tax while the mass medias were controlled by puppet masters. The TV and medias know how to steer people’s belief system to become even better sheep…

God! Oh! my God! I did not know that I was a “sinner” born with original sin. I had a great time in the church, daydreaming and floating around. Nobody understood the Latins or foreign manners. We had a great time experience exotic theatrical ritual and commune with the ” God ” who suppose to be all loving… Years later when I realized that we were born with original sin and we had to repent… that God from the Old Testament was not a nice guy either, who seemed even more moody than my parents. I felt very betrayed and seriously concerned if I was good enough for God to love me…

According to the ancient records from Sumerian civilization, humans were genetically engineered to serve the Annunaki. Some scholar said it was an ET race who is like older brother to the baby earth humans. Other said Annunaki simply means from the above, so any ET could be called Annunaki since they arrived from the sky. According the the legend/myth/ancient records that humans were made to not be able to procreate and they were made to be slaves mining gold for the gods/Annunaki. Gold was important to maintain the energy field for the planets they came from. Maybe Annunaki were tired of keeping on genetic engineering new human bodies to work for them, so some of the Annunaki experimented to engineer humans DNA again to have procreative ability… the legend said when humans began to procreate among themselves, the gods were very unhappy because humans were so loud while mating among themselves that gods could not have peaceful nights of sleep.

Sex! oh! Sex was something kids hush hush about because it was said to be grotesque. I was so bothered about hearing mom and dad doing that kind of thing that sometimes woke me up from the dreamland. It almost made me want to go to the confessional booth to confess for them… then I would get myself into trouble because I suppose not to know such thing… until years later I realized that all my friends mom and dad also ” did that kind of things ” because that was how we came out from our moms’ bellies… I felt so happy and so relieved…

With what I know now, oh, my goddess! Of course sex is a big deal beside genetic lineage. It also can be used as political mechanism for social orders and power games, not to mention what today’s quantum physicians would say while measuring the energy field of two human beings linking up in such passionate way… What if the Sumerian records were true, and humans were genetically engineered by those who from ” the above? ” Ah! since they could not mate and suppose not be able to mate in the earlier part of their genetic memories, of course sex is a touchy issue. According to the legend / myth, it was the goddess Inanna who give the earth humans many gifts from the gods including the art of love making. This also said a lot about spiritual journey in all cultures that range from sacred sex and tantric yoga to the Taoist sex for immortality… to a totally sexless life to be closer to God.

It was said in the Bible and many other ancient text that gods were walking among humans in those ancient times. These records showed us that in those time many locations on earth were like New York City as part of the galactic play ground where many races gathered and lived with one another. When I first arrived in New York City in 1986, I was so touched by the sight in the subway that all races sat next to one another reading their newspaper with all kind of languages…. What if all the ancient records, sacred texts, Bible, myth, legend… were all true, it only need some insight to ” see ” these records as holographic recorded “movies” instead just words printed on papers.

Belief system is a tricky business. We endorse it into reality by believing it. If we believe there is a God who is separated from us, living higher up in the cloud watching everything over us ( from outside in ), we then shall endorse a reality of a judgmental God who is actually emotionally insecure and have not even attained compassion and unconditional love but ruthlessly conquer ” His Enemies. ” Guess what?  We then might become judgmental and lack of compassion because we are “His Children.” A world filled with people who are diligently judging one another is not going to be a happy world. I have seen beautiful people who worked very hard to become pure and less “sinful”… often focus on what is wrong with the picture and clean of the stains from the shirt so obsessively… Mom was one of those faithful religious devotee who had done her best be to “closer to God” just like many other beautiful human beings had done… and many beautiful human beings are still in the same grid because their beliefs…

Some people believe differently that God lives in our heart, who is not separated from us or judging us ” from outside in.” The God lives in our hearts lives in everything, so there is love everywhere. How can the omnipresence create something like devil or Satan who is not part of itself? Thick Nhat Hahn, a living master in our time said- No Mud, No Lotus.

It is not about spending our lives to clear out the stains and become as white as toilet paper but about attaining wisdom through all kind of life experiences through water of life and the collective unconscious that often feels like muddy confusions… from all that seems impossible, the lotus rise above the water, bathing in the sun and still deeply rooted in the mud, this is the symbol of Enlightenment, not just from the Oriental Buddhist tradition, it was also the sacred symbol for the Ancient Egyptians.

For the first 280 years of Christian history, Christianity was banned by the authority – Roman Empire, and Christians were violently persecuted. This situation changed after the “conversion” of the Roman Emperor Constantine. Constantine was a politician, who was a wiser political leader than a religious devotee, called the Council of Nicea in an attempt to use Christianity for his social orders. Constantine masterfully played Christianity as a religion that could unite the Roman Empire, which at that time already began to fragment and divide. Constantine did not fully believed the Christian faith, but continued many of his pagan beliefs and practices, so the Christian church that Constantine promoted was a mixture of original Christianity and Roman paganism.

Constantine played the belief system on his citizens like playing chess. He himself did not need to buy into any of these mental programs, but he cleverly lay these beliefs on the people he ruled over for his political gain. Of course religions need to be organized, because it is political power.

The Gnostic on the other hand is more close to the original teaching of Jesus, but they got persecuted by the organized Christian just like how original Christian got persecuted by the Roman. Why? Because they cannot be “organized.” Their relationship with “God” was not a public one but a private one for God lives in our hearts…

The Old Testament recorded “God” in plural- Gods, why? Because it was the recorded experiences those ancient people had with those whom from “the above.” As days go by it become organized religion before the arrival of Jesus, God become a concept instead of living truth from experiences. When Jesus came he said there was one law, love, that overwrite the Ten Commands. Jesus taught universal law and cosmic truth to those fearful people who feared their zealous God. That was very much like someone from an advanced civilization to help some tribal people to see life differently…The organized political religious force did not like that… after he got killed, the organized political religious force turned around to the innocent people – Jesus died for your sins. They had done everything to turn brave hearts who are sovereign to stand tall into sheep who dare not to have private relationship with “God” but listen to the authority to translate what “God” means. Whoever did not fit into sheep class might get burned as witches or evil.

Giordano Bruno (1548-1600), the Italian philosopher, astronomer, mathematician, and occultist whose theories anticipated modern science got burned  at the stake because of the tenacity with which he maintained his unorthodox ideas of earth was not the center of the universe, but orbiting around the sun… In his final moment at the stake, he said- it is still orbiting right this moment…

If you have a degree on any science object, chemistry, physics, computer… you could be burnt as evil,witch or occultist in those days. If the “authority” found some books, or even just one book in your home, you could be charged as  heretics. You suppose to be the good sheep and follow the rules from the shepherd. You do not need to read books because you will misunderstand it, it is dangerous for you. Only the shepherds had the right to read the books. Occult knowledge simply means hidden knowledge. Our secret governments who own spaceships and having colonies in the bases of moon and Mars and have so many Secret Space Programs definite having lots of ” occult knowledge ” yet they promote some belief systems for their controlled mass how to believe and how to act like good sheep. These people might or might not also believe ” God ” but not the kind of God they steer their people to believe. It remind me of parents partying with their friends with lots of fun topics and good drinks that kids should not have… so good kids need to kiss the adults goodnight, and go to their rooms.

Holy books are wonderful things if we read them from our heart and understand them from the depth of our souls. Often we were taught to interpret those messages from our heads from our teachers, parents, elders… they had also learned this way from their teachers, parents, elders… Good luck!!! We then might just become very judgmental, dogmatic devotees whose heads  are filled with thoughts of fear and separation… and feeling very offended to sense other people ” sinning.”.

The head shall never understand what the heart always knows.

Well, I am still trying to find a wise way to communicate something that might trigger quite some emotions… hum!! How can I share a deeper part of myself that is so naked and it might offend those who always have many layers on? How can we still be friends if my living truth has been something some people are so righteously fight against? So very sensitively I could only say – How come everyone is praising Emperor’s new clothe while the Emperor has no clothe on??

What if many things Bible said were true but not as interpreted as the political religious authorities would like to lead us to perceive realities in their totalitarian way? We are the masters of our lives. There is no other authorities who are closer to ” God.” Nobody is closer to the God who lives in our heart than we do. We are not closer to the God who lives in someone else’ own heart better than that person does. If we all understand such simple thing, then there shall be world peace and a evolving humanity. Perhaps we then can become galactic humans who finally grow up, taking responsibilities as cosmic beings…instead of worshiping other cosmic beings who might be good sometimes, bad, and ugly other times as our gods.

What if many stories in the ” Bible ” are true but their were records of Extra Terrestrial  encounters? The word Bible is from Koine Greek ?? ??????, tà biblía, means books. It is a canonical collection of texts sacred in Judaism and Christianity. There is no single “Bible” but many Bibles with varying contents exist. Different religious traditions have produced different selections of texts. Believe it or not, if you trace the roots back to their origins, many of them were from the Sumerian records… These do largely overlap however, creating an important common core of belief system. Please remember that when Christianity started, it was treated as a cult and Jesus was “blasphemy” to claim himself as son of God according to the old belief system, very much like when Buddha taught about the cosmic law that challenged the established Hinduism. The Authorities in each era loved to edit out the original versions of the sacred teaching simply because “kids suppose not to know such things.” The conflict between the old and new belief system was caused by the established belief system did not want their established social orders and political power got replaced. The new belief system often taught some new beliefs that were closer to the heart and soul… as soon as it got established, it was just as corrupted as the old ones. Now the ” kids became the parents, their kids suppose not to know certain things…”

Jesus did not say that he is the Only son of God… he called us his brothers and sisters. We are all sons and daughter of God not some unworthy basters who had sinned before birth. The crime against truth and humanity here is to turn the Original Grace which is God’s love into Original Sin which is fearing a zealous God. To make such complex human dramas that often includes human sacrifices easier to understand, it simply come down to three highly charged words- Money, God and Sex. They all come from the undigested power issues that seldom feels enough but often in lack and wanting more… more money, more closer to God and more sex to prove one’s own power.

All scandals are nothing but Money, God and Sex:

Who took the money that did not belong to him/her? Who were acting like messengers of God, made tons of money… then got found out of having sex with the “wrong people at the wrong place… ” The list is long but the causes are simple enough  to not need other words beside Money, God and Sex. Fanatics would say – let’s cross these three words out of the dictionary of our lives, because they are the roots of all evil. Throwing the baby out with bath water does not speed up our enlightenment either. There is nothing wrong with Money, God or Sex just like there is nothing wrong with power. It is the misuse of holy books, we then suffer from holy poops. If money is the root of all evils why churches asking people to give them more evils? If God lives in our hearts not someone outside of us, how could we get closer to God who is already inside our hearts? If Sex is sinful and eating an apple is unforgivable, let’s leave the zoo to the zoo keepers, let the Hero’s journey lead us to our divine destiny… Are we going to lead our youth to continue those mind controlled programs just because we ourselves had been through such programs? If you belong to a spiritual community and someone claim to be the spoken person for the God who lives in your heart… well, I do not know about you and it is not my business to tell you what to do. I would run as fast as I can… There are all kind of organized religions, or organized spiritual community.. but who can organize “God? ” All religions talking about heaven, that means from the above, or from the sky. If you are a Martian who lives on Mars you would treat someone from earth as heavenly messenger according to your Martian perception of ” from the above.” We are going to evolve into galactic citizens, let’s expand our awareness out of the tiny boxes of our old tribal mentalities that often based on polarity consciousness of us vs them, good vs evil… What kind of creators we would like to be when we evolved into the guardianship for other much younger planets? A zoo keeper? A zealous god/goddess? or the awakened daughters and sons of God/ The Great Spirit/ All That Is/ Life who serve life and humanity with all our hearts and all our might.

Oneness has nothing to do with the sameness, in other word living in oneness is not about being Totalitarians. This is a big one. How do you know if the spiritual community you belong to is a cult or not? Just look at people’s words and behaviors in such community if they think, act, talk like cookie cutters from the same company. Omnipresence would not want to create a boring universe that everyone think the same and everything fit perfectly for the perfect same outcome. From the depth of my heart, I do not mind if you think I am evil. This soul has gotten burned as a witch countless times when incarnated in some dark ages on this planet, but it shall not be this time. Like what Giordano Bruno said in his final moment – it is still orbiting right this moment, Jesus said in his final moment, Father, please forgive them for not knowing what they are doing…

I have no ideal what I would say when that moment comes for me. I do know it is going to be a long long time in a far away future… Forget about Money, God and Sex… and the difference of belief systems… and the programs we had been through… We are precious reflections for one another. We are the ones we have been waiting for according to ancient prophecies from all traditions. Everyone on planet earth is a great soul- regardless if you feel great about yourself or not. We are all going to have a ride together regardless what we had been through, or what kind of beliefs we give our endorsement to… none of these matters any more. We are all here together, as splendid tribes of many colors riding on many waves… from a planetary civilization to a galactic one… in One Heart.

This is the ancient prophecy about this special time. It has begun.


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